First on our list is sort of a cheat considering he’s already gotten his movie, but, it was so far from the source material that it turned out being a More Religious Matrix (Okay maybe a Different Religious Matrix).

Constantine needs to get another shot at a movie. Though it was recently announced that CW has greenlit the development for a Constantine show I can’t help but think that any television version of the character that plays following Vampire Diaries or Gossip Girl isn’t going to be the true chain-smoking, rude, self destructive character womanizer that Alan Moore wrote so freaking well in the Hell Blazer series. It’s just going to be turned into Supernatural with trench coats.

Like I said before, the Keanu version wasn’t even the Bud Light to Constantine’s Bud. It was more Natty Ice to Guinness. One gets you drunk while the other is Guinness. Left out of the movie was the fact that Constantine not only seeks little salvation and has no visible remorse but he playfully scoffs at the insane idea of his “responsibility to fight evil.” For a while the character was only in DC’s Justice League Dark, which you should pick up if you like a little macabre with your spandex but has since gotten his own series called Constantine.

Who would be my pick for Constantine?

Fresh off of preserving every last piece of dignity he has left by backing out of50 Shades of Grey, Charlie Hannum would literally make the perfect Constantine. He’s blonde, British, smokes, looks good in a white shirt and can be a total bad ass. Everyone knows him from Sons of Anarchy but believe me you should check him out in Green Street Hooligans and Children of Men. For every reason I stated that this movie wouldn’t work on TV is the reason why Hannum would knock it out of the fucking park. Put Guillermo Del Toro, who’s already cut his teeth on comic movies like the Hell Boy series and Blade 2 and you’ve got the perfect paranormal investigator/adventure movie. 

Get it done!