Tiger Woods

Finally, our most successful man with Derek Jeter’s Herpes is Tiger Tiger Tiger Woods, y’all. Yeah… Tiger Woods.

While his marriage was falling apart in a flurry of shattered window glass andhilarious cg recreations he was linked to Rachel Uchita who is a former girl of Jeter’s.

Though Woods may have Jeter beat in money, titles and possibly endorsements, there’s one thing he’ll never be able to beat El Capitan in: Class.

Tiger Woods has tell all books from his former caddy and mistresses. You know how many there are of Jeter? None, because he treats his ladies with dignity and respect. He even goes as far as to give them a gift basket after one night stands that include lotions, signed baseball paraphernalia and other shwag. Being bedded by Jeter is like going to the Emmy’s and its after parties except you sit next to Nick Offerman the whole time and shoot the breeze. 

What do you get with Tiger Woods? A scandal, a hand shake and Derek Jeter’s Herpes. 

I’d much rather have the gift basket.