I want to make a distinction between the hardware and the games in this because though I think the idea for the Kinect is scary for reasons far smarter people than I have explained I understand that it could add to the UI experience if that’s something you’re… special. But, as far as gameplay is concerned, motion capture for the most part has been one let down after the other with the exception of very few games (most of which start with either Tiger Woods or Wii Sports).

This isn’t in regards to any one game but to motion control gaming in general.


Stop it. You suck at the one thing you’re supposed to be good at, having easy controls. How can we get enveloped into a game when we constantly have to recalibrate the sensor if it plain just doesn’t fucking see us waving our arms around like a god damn idiot?

I’m picking on the Kinect because while PS4 will have a motion sensing camera its not going to bundle it with the system because they realized most people don’t fucking want it. I get that some are excited to use the Kinect as a Jarvis like system but I’m even skeptical about that. How can I expect a video game to know what I’ve just said when my iPhone 5s hasn’t even gotten a single speech-to-text right. I mean, for christ’s sake they honestly had to update the system to account for people sitting the fuck down while they play a video game!

To be fair the Kinect sold 8 million units in its first 60 days, which is a world record for any device, even beating the iPhone 5, but its overall sales were 24 million compared to the 80 million xbox 360 total units sold. Meaning 1/4 of people owning an a 360 even wanted the damn thing to begin with and that’s not to say that they even enjoyed it after the purchase. The current price of a Kinect is only a measly $100 so why isn’t the owner ratio larger? If 8 million people were willing to buy it in the first 60 days at double the cost don’t you think positive word of mouth would have propelled the share to maybe 1:2? No, because it’s a piece of shit that doesn’t work.

I love the Kinect as concept, I really do. I get just as excited about this shit…

…as the next geek but let’s not fool ourselves. The Kinect wasn’t designed for this. If Microsoft came out with a statement saying that the device would be for the sole purpose of Augmented Reality or kinesthetic research then, fuck yes, I say make as many as you want but that’s not how they market it. They say it is supposed to make the end user experience easier and the simple truth is it just doesn’t.

Kinect should be taken into a field and beaten with baseball bats.